Why trying harder will ruin your life
You need to slow down to win
Nobody actually wants to be constantly busy.
The only reasons they think they want it is because either:
They’re running from lack.
They believe their worth depends on output.
They don’t know any better.
Their parents grew up in industrial times where having enough was not a given, and so mom and dad graciously passed this belief onto them. Subtly, for sure. But it left its mark.
“Do or do not. There is no try.” Yoda
“Try harder” typically reflects the need to achieve more. Hidden under the guise of achieving our full potential, how can we ever argue with such a central thesis.
Trying harder is for the ignorant.
I’m not here to offend. I am here to prove it.
By the end of this letter, you will understand:
Why your body rewards you for slowing down
How to avoid getting stuck thinking more = better
How to build internal collaboration that produces greater results with less energy.
The Nike paradox - why “Just Do It” isn’t the answer.
When Nike launched their infamous slogan, “Just Do It”, no wonder it stood out: It challenged millions and millions of people to face their fears. Life demands hard work—but doing it blindly is the problem.
You feel the need to keep up with everyone else because you are worried that not meeting the standard makes you less valuable. You don’t want to be last, so you push long beyond what is reasonable so you can finish.
Western culture celebrates “doing”, as if more, faster and harder is better. It’s not.
This mindset contains a fundamental misunderstanding of our humanity.
We aren’t simply a processor, where brute computational power wins. We’re a complex system of interdependent parts. In order to “Do”, you need the collaboration of a body and a nervous system.
In order to do great work, you need ideas, focus, patience, curiosity, adaptability, and durability. If you don’t pay attention to what it takes to create these skills, you can forget doing great work. You will simply measure your success in kilojoules. You’re living with awareness that ends at the tip of your nose. You don’t ask yourself what is the best path to success.
In golf, precise timing and technique drive more distance.
In ant colonies, coordinated teamwork finds food more efficiently.
In bees, moving between flowers yields more nectar than exhausting themselves on one.
In marathon running, pacing prevents lactic acid blow-up and ensures finishing strong.
Most people would be better off trading brut force for measured output.
So many examples where measured output wins—but why do we struggle with this principle ourselves? Because we assume.
Assumptions make an ass out of you
The problem is that trying harder works—sometimes.
We struggle because we haven’t considered how mind, body, and emotions work together.
Your prefrontal cortex evaluates.
Your basal ganglia automate.
Our brains default to assumptions that feel efficient—but often aren’t.
So, you’re always on. And it’s ruining your life.
Trying harder without listening to your body is like leaving the pitstop before the wheels are fastened—you’re set up to crash.
Because it’s more efficient for the brain to anticipate and automate, brute force becomes the default. At first, this isn’t a problem. But under sustained effort, tension rises, repetitions drop, and injury becomes inevitable.
The average person doesn’t do well slowing down and challenging the assumptions about how things are done. They don’t see a problem with it. So when burnout appears—or even illness—we explain it away as “bad luck”, “genes”, or some form or shame or self-flagellation.
All they know is full-gas.
If you want to win, you need to engage your entire team. Namely your emotions, feelings and body.
Here’s how:
Adversity by design - you need to engage all sides
Humans were not designed to optimize for output. They were designed to optimize for adaptation.
The mind predicts. It’s asking “what’s next”.
The body is the primary data source. It’s the main sensor that sees before the mind becomes aware of it.
The emotions bring meaning. As Dan Siegel puts it, “Emotions are signals that help us integrate experience, regulate behavior, and connect with others.”
Together, we have an aligned system:
• The body detects a signal
• The emotions assign meaning
• The mind chooses an adaptive response
This collaboration loop allows us to learn from mistakes, adjust effort, and recover before damage occurs. .
Your body rewards slowing down with access to your best thinking. When you release the grip, your nervous system shifts out of survival mode and back into the state where creativity, pattern recognition, and strategic thinking actually live.
Here’s what this looks like in practice:
You’re focused on writing. Your notice your neck is tight. You notice your jaw is clenched. (Like I just noticed mine!) That’s your body sending a signal. Most people ignore it and push through another hour. But if you pause, you might notice irritation rising—that’s emotion assigning meaning. “This section isn’t working.” Your mind can now make an adaptive choice: take a walk, switch tasks, or approach the problem differently.
The “try harder” approach bypasses all of this. It treats discomfort as weakness to overcome rather than information to integrate. Your body keeps the score, so when you put it through substantial stress, it is taking note. Ignoring the signals over time will achieve what you did not want - discomfort, dis-ease, and a subtle, constant, busy-ness that becomes your baseline.
Unless you plan satisfy your ego at the expense of growing physical and emotional discomfort, increasingly cut off from relationship, and curiosity, consider inviting your body and emotions to the table. Give them a voice. Look for opportunities for collaboration.
The alpha you’re looking for might not be in doing more—it might be in listening better.
Thank you for reading.
-- Stuart